You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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