im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
