WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
did i walk over a car last night?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
