Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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