why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
