im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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