And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
