By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
