I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
