but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
