I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
