His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
