You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
