Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
