Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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