It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
