note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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