The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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