so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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