Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
