ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
