you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
smell my finger.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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