1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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