We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
