i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
