A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
