So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
