I can't watch pbs sober anymore
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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