i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Fuck appropriateness.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
