Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
