You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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