I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have tasted many bathrooms
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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