You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.