I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell