Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
