I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
