Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
