Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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