If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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