they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
