i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
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I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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