Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
