I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
