That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just gargled with NyQuil
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
