She's JV to your varsity
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
