grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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