Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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