Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
