ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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