She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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