but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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