i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he shaved USA in his pubs
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
