Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone đ
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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