we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
