Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
