did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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