I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
