Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
