I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
