how can u be prego again
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
