You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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