guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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