Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
